The Wheelbarrow

2005-11-24T01:24:00.001-05:00

it's the night before thanksgiving. i'm not going to either family home. i'm at my "home," a location which is to retain that designation for only a few days more. its successor has yet to be positively identified. i predict that within a year i will have at least shoved a photojournalist; it's possible that i will have punched one. one thing i have learned is that when you are a journalist,

2005-09-12T12:20:00.000-05:00

As usual, nothing much to say here. we all know that wheelbarrow is on extended life support and really just needs michael schiavo to come in and collect the insurance, but I'll post again to get that BTK thing off the top. I went to L.A. for a documentary movie shoot this past weekend and found it disturbingly seductive. While I don't really want to move there (I think), I could see spending a

2005-08-20T11:17:00.000-05:00

Let's talk current events for a minute. The "BTK" killer was just sentenced to what, like ten consecutive life sentences. I watched as Wolf Blitzer lamented that BTK was getting exactly what he wanted, what with all the attention focused on his sentencing, this comment coming of course in the middle of CNN's hours-long non-stop coverage of the event, complete with guest psychoanalysts. I really

2005-07-01T09:21:00.000-05:00

Monark <3 U, LOL!

2005-06-15T01:00:00.000-05:00

sup. here's a 2am throwaway post for you. you know what's gross, but that you don't usually think of as gross? Bobbing for apples. There's a denture ad on tv with Grandma and Grampa bobbing for apples at the fall fair, and yeah, how heartwarming, but what about all the drool they're leaving behind in that bucket, chomping around with their mouths open in what I have to imagine is unchlorinated

2005-05-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

Well, the Nark played our fourth show of '05 last Thursday at the newly opened cake shop in the fab LES. Why just "Nark," you ask? Because we were missing a 'mo, that 'mo of course being Brian Griffin, off on his posh Australian vacation. So it was the mellow Monark jam instead of our usual formula of "weed, feedback & earplugs" (except we don't really smoke much weed, unfortunately). Our hosts (

2005-05-07T12:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry about that, kids. I'd like to tell you exactly what I've been up to, but I think I might have signed some sort of confidentiality agreement when I started, so I'll be vague - I've been living in a hotel for the past week, making movies. Also, I believe the word "assistant" is not even part of my title, can you believe it? well. anyway, GTA '05. Monark needs shows hella bad.

2005-04-11T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm on day 8 of no drinking (spring liver cleaning). I feel exactly the same, and I think if anything I look less healthy than usual. Oh well. That'll teach me not to abuse my body. Heh. Self-abuse. Heh. Masturbating. Heh heh. Settle down, Beavis.So I'm posting largely to get the last post off the top, the one where I fall for an April Fool's joke. But JOKE THIS - In the trailer to the new XXX

2005-04-06T23:48:00.000-05:00

Wheelbarrow Papal Corspewatch 05 will have to be interrupted - I've just learned that CBS is making a TV movie about Terri Schiavo starring... Felicity. O Felicity, where art thou? or something. I'm probably the last person to know about this, or at least the last person who would possibly care, but... I am beyond appalled. On the other hand, if they got Scott Speedman to play a young Michael

2005-04-04T23:39:00.000-05:00

WHEELBARROW POPEWATCH: Day 3Still dead.

2005-03-18T02:52:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's day. Running isn't Irish, but we determined tonight that he puts the "gay" and the "lick" into "Gaelic."GTA 05 status update - coming along fairly well. Monark has now got 2 shows under its belt in the new year, and the last one went pretty well. Impending famousness - stay tuned. I'm involved in some exciting projects, one of which may land me a sweet job, possibly at the

2005-03-02T00:35:00.000-05:00

Sydney Lumet's daughter has a giant rack. I tied for second place in the office Oscar pool, then got gypped (apologies to my Romany readers) out of the prize due to some ex-post-facto rules having something to do with the boss's marital circumstances. BALONEY.

2005-02-21T01:54:00.000-05:00

Hunter Thompson killed himself. I was skimming the front page of the NYT and it took me a second or two after reading the headline to register it... I was already on to another headline when it hit and I gasped audibly. Not a huge surprise I guess... 67 is enough years maybe. How old was Hemingway when he shot himself? Still, it sucks that HST's dead now. It strikes me that in almost every

2005-02-15T13:16:00.000-05:00

It's well-known among my friends that I am capable of some spectacularly bad decisions when it comes to my personal life. This isn't really an example of such, but it's why I'm really mad at myself right now and it does illustrate just how stupid I can be: I had several major items on my agenda for this week, such as doing my taxes, doing my laundry, logging show footage in Final Cut, and writing

2005-02-07T23:35:00.000-05:00

A short list of things I might write about on the Wheelbarrow if I had the time or inclination: - the internship - Howard Dean's bid for chair of the DNC, and the implications of the good Doctor playing ball with the "Democratic establishment," how far from that he ever really was, what might actually come of it, how pathetically little I pay attention to politics in recent months - what I

2005-01-20T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm sick. Taking the day off, if you will... where's my government check?!? hurry up you bastards. This morning, I woke up to a strange tapping coming from the other side of my basement room, which turned out to be a pigeon stuck in the exhaust pipe above my water heater. This I ascertained by the weird claw sticking out from where the heater meets the pipe. I'm sick, and I did about four hours

2005-01-18T01:55:00.000-05:00

I was in the shower just now. I was about to get out, but then, as I was giving the undercarriage the once-over rinse, things seemed a little too slippery. Then I remembered, oh yeah - forgot to wash my body. If you're going to name your child "Chad," why not just go all the way and name him "Choad." You're just one little "o" away from what will unavoidably be the real truth. there's some

2004-12-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

Another year, come and gone... let's take a look back at the barrow's major resolution for 2004, which was "QFA," meaning "quit fucking around." Some cessation of around-fucking was in fact achieved - to wit, I did finally manage to get laid off from my job (I know, I know, it was pretty ambitious but I pulled it off somehow). The Pancakes Experience managed to play several rather enjoyable shows

2004-12-27T01:25:00.000-05:00

I'm at Christine's apartment in Bethesda, MD now. Christmas was good, I asked for a Bible and I got it. Also, cousin's kids still ignore me when I greet them, unless forced by their parents to acknowledge me. However, they were way into the talking Elmo potato-head-face-sticky thing I got for the little one. Whatever. Christine's got a portable breathalyzer; it looks like this: We got up

2004-12-14T03:25:00.000-05:00

I live in an apartment. We have gas heat. For almost a year, we've gotten a bill from Keyspan every month, for somewhere in the neighborhood of forty dollars. Always paid on time, never a notice saying they need to read our meter. I opened the latest bill - $1150 dollars. Umm. hello. Don't forget to listen to me on www.eastvillageradio.com tonight from 6-8 p.m.

2004-12-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

So I'm pretty much in a rut here. I mean, crud. This week was my week to figure out my life and get it together, and I must say it doesn't feel like it's coming along very well. There's the part about not being able to get up before 10:30, but that's not that disappointing to me; in fact just by getting up before noon every day I kind of impress myself. I also haven't had a drink for four + days,

2004-12-04T15:20:00.000-05:00

What if you don't want brunch? What if you want some lunchfast instead? Someone should really open a restaurant like that.

2004-11-29T22:20:00.000-05:00

I think I'm getting used to this waking-before-noon-and-actually-doing-work thing, today I felt pretty good. Energized, or something. I came home with paint in my eyelashes, and I even got to hear a couple stories involving the n-word, and handguns. Yay. Today I vaccumed up a fly with a shopvac. It was kind of empowering, like I just sucked him off the face of the earth. OK, I know that's a

2004-11-28T23:35:00.000-05:00

Not much to say, except that the new shoes are hot. Tomorrow I go to what is apparently my new job, only this time, I get to start painting walls at 8 a.m. instead of 9! yay! How did I get into this... Actually, I think maybe I'll just keep doing it until the boss owes me a grand, and collect all at once. That would keep me from spending it all on shoes. Anyway, a couple of pleasant announcements

2004-11-23T23:05:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm beat. This is an interesting experience at least... ok, no it's not. Working is for suckers, we all know that, but when you actually have to move your body? Like, use muscles and shit? No good. The guy I'm working with/for, his nickname is "meathead," and it's deserved. Today was the first time I have heard the word "fingerbang" used without comical intent. So being a socially-conscious

2004-11-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

Monarch finally has a website. We also have a practice space. I painted walls today. If you remember from back in the early days of the wheelbarrow, all I really wanted was a band, and a weekly check from the government with some mindless labor on the side. And love. Two out of three so far. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I don't like Felicity Porter, but it's not because she's a bad

2004-11-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

Looking around at a few other blogs, it seems like a lot of the last entries came on November 3rd. Still in shock, I suppose... Well, this week for me is the post-election detox. Last Tuesday of course I got trashed at night watching the returns, Wednesday I alternated between drinking and sleeping all day, Thursday night I had band practice, hit the bar with the boys afterwards, came home with

2004-11-03T20:40:00.000-05:00

Well. This is certainly a kick in the pants. Today, on the couch, after drinking myself to sleep, I had a dream that the provisional ballots had actually overturned the results, Kerry had withdrawn his concession, and Bush was not actually our next president. You know the kind of dream you have when something major in your life has turned to poo and you know you won't be the same afterwards, like

2004-11-02T01:50:00.001-05:00

Here's a good boy: The day is finally here. We've waited four years from that night in 2000 -- a night alternately triumphant, infuriating, and finally just confusing. We watched with impotent disgust the machinations of power which had nothing to do with the will of the people, most of us not finding out until much later what had actually happened - the unjustified disenfranchisement and

2004-11-01T13:55:00.000-05:00

Whew. Holy shit, that was exhausting. A few numbers for you: From Thursday night to Sunday night, - number of showers taken: 0 - number of times underwear changed: 0 - number of times t-shirt changed: 1 - number of times I removed my shoes: 0 - number of times a meal consisted of something other than a bagel or a donut: 2 I don't think these "dispatches" are ever going to make it up on sit and

2004-10-30T14:02:00.000-05:00

hey kids. I'm in Columbus, Ohio, taking a break from calling undecided young voters. Part of the d4d group is out at the Ohio State football game, approaching tailgaters to try to get them to vote for Kerry. I had absolutely no interest in doing that, as I'm still hungover from getting pretty well shitfaced last night at the little party they threw. I went as a slutty Laura Bush-as-a-cowgirl,

2004-10-28T00:14:00.000-05:00

Sheeeeeiiiitt. Big day tomorrow, and it's already quarter past 1... at 9 a.m. I'm supposed to be in downtown Brooklyn for an unemployment "orientation" at which they will show me how to get a job, and maybe offer some pointers as to what I might be doing wrong. Let's see... sleep till noon, don't leave the house all day... I can't imagine what else I can do to make myself more employable. I'm

2004-10-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

Big photo post for you here. I was riding my bike a couple weeks ago, on my way to see a double feature of Motorcycle Diaries (sweet) and Dig (totally boring and gay), when I came across this scene: Parking is a bear in NYC, as we all know, and hey, there was no sign saying not to park there. Yesterday, I got up at 6:30 a.m. to take a charter bus from Brooklyn Heights to the Philadelphia

2004-10-22T02:06:00.000-05:00

Whoops, updates. As a self-promoter, I would be remiss not to inform you that there is currently available, on the internet, a new issue of Sit and Spin Magazine. In this issue, Donovan and I each attempted one piece of serious, legitimate journalism. See if you can guess which ones they are! Tonight was Monarch's (why isn't that a link? make a website, ben) first show. All in all, I'd say it

2004-10-12T12:47:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else in New York noticing a shitload of mosquitoes this fall? wtf, I thought they were all supposed to be dead by now, but it seems like the only thing I'm not scratching is my nuts - and that ain't right. Shows, shows. John Vanderslice was great, although he never plays the one song I want to hear, the one about the sweet, sweet skag. Mountain Goats... enh. I like the records; I think

2004-10-08T00:40:00.000-05:00

Explosions in the Sky were awesome, as always. Do they have to throw so much Texas in your face? Shit, if that's what Texas is all about, go ahead and rock it. We need more Texas like that. Tonight I sat in an "annex" (read: little classroom) of a CUNY auditorium and watched Brian Eno chat with Todd Haynes for 2 hours. It was actually rather entertaining and enlightening. Funny guy, that Eno.

2004-10-06T00:16:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness... You've been watching the debates. You don't need the wheelbarrow's commentary. Of course, I am vurry vurry pleased. Last Thursday, Kerry came correct with all, like, facts, and conviction and shit, and you could almost see smoke coming out of W's ears as the hamster wheels in his head hit the overload point. And tonight... tonight, tonight, o magic night! It got me thinking, you

2004-09-27T18:40:00.002-05:00

I've been on a bit of a bender this past week, as I suppose might be expected, being my first week of unemployment and all. It was completely accidental; I started the week with a resolution to get up by 10 a.m. every day, by Friday that had turned into trying to make it out of bed before 2p.m. I can't even really remember what I was doing, except that I know a few shows were involved, because I

2004-09-25T01:45:00.000-05:00

The old template is back. I was trying to get the official Blogger comments to work with this template, but they wouldn't so I switched, but it sucked, yadda yadda who cares. So. Big News. This little vanity web page was started, nay, shall we say conceived, in the frosty and barren womb of a major financial services corporation's headquarters. The work was tedious and mind-numbing, but there

2004-09-20T12:39:00.000-05:00

Anybody with legitimate journalistic experience read the Wheelbarrow? I'm wondering what a good way to preserve a phone interview might be. I have really bad memory and not much in the way of shorthand, and the phone recorder costs like 80 bucks at the spy store. Is there a cheap, easy way to record a phone conversation?

2004-09-16T18:54:00.000-05:00

New York local news is retarded advertorial bullshit, so I watch the BBC World News (can anyone please tell me why I bothered linking that...) instead when I get home. I like the global focus (though still highly U.S.-centric), but god, the British. Why can't those motherfuckers talk right??? Hurricane becomes "hAHrricun." Pentagon becomes "PENtagn." Look you limey fucks, if you're going to

2004-09-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Donovan's lovely and talented gf Joy, I went to a Bust magazine launch party last night. We missed the open bar and drinks were 9 bucks, so we went out to find a liquor store so we could brown-bag it (just a coke, please!). When we returned, we had won a raffle, which netted yours truly one "Kerry/Edwards" guitar strap. Woo! Is that cool, or gay? I can't tell... regardless, I'll be

2004-09-09T21:46:00.000-05:00

I often don't know what to do with myself. I think it's a combination of laziness and too much that I should be doing. I should be working on Cockpit (or Monark, as we're now called. Don't steal it.) I should be learning an Eddie Money song for the next Pancakes show. I should be researching, emailing, and writing for the upcoming Sit and Spin. I should be reading one of the many many books on my

2004-09-03T00:08:00.000-05:00

I'm going to leave those posts up as a testament to what a fucking retard Donovan is. Not ONLY did he erase my long-ass post about the final night of protests and the speeches of the RNC, but he spelled "admit" incorrectly. Here's to you, you computer (and english) illiterate jackass.

2004-09-02T22:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admitt it; Donovan is much, much cooler than me. His penis is also much much larger than mine. Also, I like to have sex with little boys.

2004-09-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

I am a gay American.

2004-09-01T00:27:00.000-05:00

Oy. Running self ragged the last few days. Should post pics, too lazy. Short rundown: Friday - visited tent city for KWRU march, took photos, interviewed people w/new voice recorder (way to lose the old one Donovan). Krasdale got arrested at Critical Mass. Lost in a ping-pong tournament, blaming it on acute alcohol intoxication. Saturday - Very hung over. Went to March for Women's Lives.

2004-08-25T20:46:00.000-05:00

OK, it's up now. Tell everyone you know. Feel free to send in copyedits, cuz we didn't do that yet and I'm going to the bar.

2004-08-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

I wish I could ask people why they smell like they do. For once I mean that in a good way - after all, here in NYC the reason people stink is usually one of only a few easily identifiable sources (urine, feces, b.o., and the occasional fish handling). But when somebody smells really, really good, and it takes you back to some memories you'd forgotten all about... I just can't see how you ask them

2004-08-24T00:30:00.000-05:00

The new Sit and Spin Magazine is in the can, awaiting publication. The presentation of this one might be a little ghetto at first as we rush to get it out before the RNC, but the content will more than make up for it. It's not live yet, but you can still go out and, you know... create the buzz. Observe: "Heeeey, I hear there's a new SIT AND SPIN coming out soon! WONDER WHAT'LL BE IN IT?"

2004-08-21T21:28:00.000-05:00

If I could train the dog to give other people rimjobs like the one he just gave himself, I think the money we could make pimping him out would more than pay for his other leg surgery. I guess that's what peanut butter is for.

2004-08-20T20:07:00.000-05:00

Alright, help me out here - can I convincingly paint black-bloc anarchists as "hippies," or is that just not going to make any sense?

2004-08-19T20:35:00.000-05:00

Dude. Writing is HARD. Why did I decide to do this article? It was just supposed to be about making fun of hippies, now I'm spending hours and hours researching the Johnson administration, polls numbers from summer 1968, I bought a freaking book today... A book! Dude. I'm not even sure if my premise is valid, the article's tone is getting schizo between the research and the swearing, it's

2004-08-17T17:40:00.000-05:00

Whoa, has it been two weeks already? Time to post, I guess. Umm... Well, a brand new Sit & Spin is in the works. A certain person who shall remain anonymous has infiltrated the GOP convention volunteers, and yours truly is getting scooped daily in different publications - today by Salon. My feature is called the Non-Hippie-Idiot's Guide to Protesting the RNC, and I guarantee there will be a lot

2004-08-02T21:33:00.000-05:00

My fever broke today, I think. Good thing, too. This morning I found myself awake, muttering to myself about the threat to civil liberties posed by the CIA's profiling of foreign mimes. Actually, I wish I'd had the voice recorder handy; fevers are fun. My two cents on the Democratic Convention, with lateness penalties applied: * Monday I was at Six Flags, so my Convention intake consisted of

2004-07-29T20:23:00.000-05:00

RE: Butthole nailing - I got the bill for the removal of my bike - 250 bucks. Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer is Mr. Burns' secretary for a week: "You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes to move your car. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube." I'm bored of that whole situation however, as I'm sure you are too. The

2004-07-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

I realize the blog has been pretty grim lately, but really it's not all crushed bikes and moldy basements. The Pancakes show on the 11th was pretty sweet; after soundcheck we took a sojourn at Pancakes' GF's apartment to chug a couple 22s, and by the time we got onstage I had blown through my drink tickets and was pretty well schnockered. Is cracking wise between songs onstage on the same level

2004-07-20T20:17:00.000-05:00

I swear. If they held a contest today for the world's biggest loser, I would probably lose. Today I was reminded of the Bukowski poem, that one about the broken shoelaces - you know, like how it's not the big disasters in life that drive a man crazy, but the little things at exactly the wrong moment. I dropped my bike off at Spokes & Strings the other day for a tune up, and took my u-lock off it

2004-07-19T22:47:00.000-05:00

All my gray socks are dying at once. I put one pair on, my heels rip straight through. I throw them out (kind of sad, but I feel like I'm a little too old to hold onto comically holey socks), and the next pair I put on, same thing. This always happens when you buy packs of socks, they have a life expectancy and it's usually pretty constant. Same with light bulbs - all 4 of my 40-watters blew

2004-07-18T01:05:00.000-05:00

Sigh... another year, another Siren Fest. Every year it sucks, and every year you have to go back. The sound, terrible, the people, annoying, the Vicodin, great. Actually, this year it wasn't too hot, and the people actually weren't nearly as annoying as in years past, but still, Siren sucks, always has and probably always will. Is it the budget "festival" PA they set up, or the fact that when

2004-07-14T01:58:00.000-05:00

Which do you want first - the bad news, or the bad news? Story the First - Recycled With Extreme Prejudice When last we left off, I had gone to check on my motorcycle where it had broken down, to find it with a sticker from the NYC Department of Sanitation declaring it derelict and scheduled for removal. I moved the bike to a very inconspicuous, but definitely legal, parking space under the

2004-07-06T23:37:00.000-05:00

SWEET. God, finally something in the Democratic campaign to actually hold your attention on a TV screen. Close call, too. Could you really see "President Vilsack?" Why not just President Nutsack? Yay Edwards. Can someone explain how "Auf Der Mar" got a record deal with actual promotion, and exposure to television audiences? What is going on? Velvet Revolver? It's like the zombie babies of Hole

2004-07-01T21:49:00.000-05:00

Umm... uhhhh.... yeah. so... hmm. ok. I 've kind of forgotten what this "blogging" thing is all about, and how it could possibly not be the gayest thing on earth. I mean, occasionally I'll go to someone else's blog, and all I can think is dude, who cares, why are you posting this crap on the internet? So the future of the wheelbarrow is uncertain, as it always has been anyway. I just realized

2004-06-08T17:58:00.000-05:00

I figured I should probably read something before I say it sucks, so I went to Border's and sat around reading J.T. LeRoy's Sarah, and actually it seemed pretty good. I guess even Important Things isn't flat-out terrible, it's just pointless. Not engaging. Oh man, that reminds me of a really pointless story: you know what, never mind. Let that be an example to young literary wunderkinds - when

2004-05-29T16:56:00.000-05:00

Dude, new Blogger. Weird. We lost our free wireless internet at the house, so I haven't really been wired lately. cable and broadband coming on wednesday though, so, you know... you'll be able to unbate your breath soon. I was going to write something about how Important Things That Don't Matter is really crappy and how I bet JT LeRoy sucks too but it's a really nice day and my motorcycle is

2004-05-05T08:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know if that Paypal link actually goes straight to my account - it really should, but I think maybe it doesn't. So if anyone was actually interested in donating to the Ollie Surgery Fund, the email to use in Paypal is bquinn77 at hotmail.

2004-05-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

Before I get started begging for money for Ollie, I figured I'd start out with some content, because I know that you don't visit this page to support the latest cause, but rather to read me ramble about motorcycle problems and my latest developing latent homosexual crushes on the male leads of the discontinued WB drama Felicity. Here are some gold nuggets for you: 1) There needs to be remote

2004-04-28T19:27:00.000-05:00

If winter is the season to be jolly, apparently early spring is the season to get ass-raped by unexpected expenses. To wit: 1) Rock 'n' Roll Republican Griffin just got hit with $1500 worth of unexpectedly non-covered dental work (universal health care - still a bad idea, Griff?). 2) My whip is still laid up in the shop - all told, what I thought was a thousand dollar motorcycle is turning out

2004-04-26T22:07:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I was talking shit about Latin pop music the other day, and to the extent that I hate waking up to it, I stand by that. I must admit however a not-so-secret love for both Luis Jimenez and Y Moonshadow, but especially Moonshadow. When they had that ad where they were boiling in the coffee cups I thought they were pretty stupid, but the new ad is dope with a capital D. Look at Moonshadow

2004-04-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

Sad but true: watching two box sets of My So-Called Life in a row can like, totally make you start talking like an idiot. Or whatever. It seems it's my destiny to be caught up in one teen drama or another at any given point... just as I was coming back to normal from the season 1 set of Felicity, it turns out our upstairs neighbors own most of MS-CL, and then once I'm starting to recover from

2004-04-14T23:51:00.000-05:00

I think it's waking up to classical music is very pleasant - gradual, soothing, probably educational... it must be the best way to start your day. The trouble with New York is, the classical music station's signal is pretty weak, and it's right next to the Spanish-language pop station. So, no matter how delicately I tune the analog dial to Tchaikovsky when I go to bed, I invariably wake up to

2004-03-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

time to beef up the health insurance - If you didn't get the email or whatever, you may still be invited to our housewarming-slash-sit & spin launch party. Obviously I won't be posting my home address or phone number up here, but if you know me and you need the details, you probably know how to get in touch with me. There will be some out-of-towners at said party, and Katie (apparently the

2004-03-18T22:26:00.000-05:00

Quoth Katie: "I feel very artistic and expressive lately, I'm very motivated. It's just... all I seem to be able to motivate myself to do, is drink." Been there, K-Lo. Oh wait - I am there. I'm sorry to keep talking about Sit and Spin, but this reference is very indirect. One thing I've learned since we've launched this issue is that when you write stuff on the internet, sometimes people read

2004-03-17T21:25:00.000-05:00

jfkdlajkafdskjlkjfdas;ljk!!!! Sit and Spin, gawked! Suh-WEET. You'd think maybe this would inspire us to get our shit together with the next issue, but no. We're still in full-on self-promotion, self-congratulation mode. I swear I had something else to say.

2004-03-11T13:37:00.000-05:00

It's finally here! The NEW SIT AND SPIN.

2004-03-01T17:55:00.000-05:00

Ahh, 150 years of uninterrupted friendship. Now that is really something! Hey, remember that prank when you guys raided our naval base in a sneak attack, and then we dropped a couple of nuclear bombs on you? That was a hoot! Ahh, good times, good times... Working on Sit & Spin, hand to God, it's coming in like 2 days. I am a graphic MACHINE. Well actually the powerbook is the machine but I'm

2004-02-23T18:01:00.000-05:00

"Police were waiting for autopsy results to make an official identification, but police sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, said investigators used the victim's breast implants to identify her..." Uhh... what? They can do that? A) Gross. B) WTF. Are there like bar codes on them or something? Maybe magnetized strips, so if you try to kidnap a stripper from a titty bar, the alarm goes

2004-02-17T23:45:00.000-05:00

Some recent gems from Katie: [left on my voicemail, time-stamped at around 4 a.m. on a weekday] "Bryan, you have to help me. I can't stop watching Felicity. [tonight] "The line between Felicity and reality is starting to blur." I've caught myself watching episodes I've already seen several times, because I suddenly realized - ooh, there's a commentary track too! ...Something's got to give

2004-02-07T00:22:00.000-05:00

Speaking of religion - if I was super-rich, I think the first thing I would do would be to liquefy a camel and drip the remains down a watertight funnel through the eye of a needle, just to really stick one in God's eye. I'm sick. Again. So, instead of seeing Oneida at an acquaintance's loft (like half of brooklyn), I'm watching season 1 of Felicity on DVD and... looking up X-rated Felicity fan

2004-02-06T01:23:00.000-05:00

I came really close to saying the words "fuck off" to a nun yesterday. I'm in Lisa's Pizza & Pasta by my office, enjoying an eggplant parm hero and a coke, in fact with the sandwich in one hand and the coke in the other, reading an article in the new Discover about how I shouldn't be eating this crap, when I see her approaching the guy at the table in front of me. No way I think, she can't

2004-02-03T20:05:00.000-05:00

Drawbacks to New Apartment * Very cold * No hot water in upstairs bathtub * Pilot light in stove always going out * Still no counters/cabinets * Building manager will not return phone calls * Very cold * Corner store (closest source of Colt 45 within four blocks) closes at 7 p.m. * Reading of utility meters for entire building requires entrance through my bedroom * Kind of remote Bonuses to

2004-01-23T20:56:00.000-05:00

I only had one New Year's resolution for '04 - QFA. That's "Quit F-ing Around" It may or may not mean such things as: * get a real job (or at least get fired from my current farce of one) * get at least one band off the ground * get sit and spin going * grad school? christ. * get the girl / (alternate) - purchase dvd of "Honey" starring Jessica Alba, along with bulk hand cream and

2004-01-18T23:15:00.000-05:00

I've been without the internet. It's been an enlightening experience, being "off the grid," without my digital umbilical. I've written a novel in longhand, and applied for six U.S. patents on new inventions. Unfortunately, the novel is an autobiographical bildungsroman about a 20-something vagrant quasi-hipster douchebag who invents six new variations of ben-wa balls for men, only to get shot

2003-12-30T20:11:00.000-05:00

transcribed from December 23rd, 2003 I’m sitting on the regional Amtrak from New York to Washington, D.C. and it reeks of barf. Hmm, it passed… maybe it was just some barf-processing plant we were passing by. I hate Christmas.I swear, standing in a quarter-mile-long line at Bath & Motherfucking Body Works in the South Street Seaport Mall, it was all I could do to keep from screaming “

2003-12-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

Saw "LOTR : ROTK" today. Maybe I was just hungover, but it was pretty... enh. I mean, it's cheesy as all fuck. And like, a ghost army? Come on, dude. It's just all these characters that you don't have time to start caring about, and the dialogue was from Medieval Epic 101. Of course, we still both popped boners whenever that hot-ass elf (Orlando, not Liv) did something sweet, like when he climbs

2003-12-19T03:34:00.000-05:00

i've decided that I need two laptops: one for my desk and one for my bed. I'm too lazy to carrry the desk one to my bed. Drunken Observation: cheap hot sauce can actually be kin dof spicy. I just jacked an old stale piece of pita bread from the fridge- my punishment turned out to be burning myself with some american cheese. ... I feel like jean valjean.

2003-12-19T02:52:00.000-05:00

I'm loaded.

2003-12-12T17:22:00.000-05:00

Sigh. Instead of going to either of two holiday parties I was invited to tonight, I had to go look at an apartment, because, as you may know, I'm going to need a place to live in about 18 days, and a good 6 or more of those days will probably be lost to the holidays. Oh, stress, how I've missed thee... Sincerely, I had forgotten how some real stress can make one feel more alive. Hmm, maybe I

2003-12-10T17:49:00.000-05:00

Tidbits - Last night walking home from Royal Oak with Katie, Donovan, and Ollie, we passed a group of people talking. One girl was wearing those boots with the really long hair/fur coming off of them. Whether by coincidence or not, Ollie stopped to sniff her foot. "No Ollie, that's not another dog," I said. It was one of the best incidental insults I've managed to get off lately; I was quite

2003-12-07T23:42:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure you already know, the first issue of Sit and Spin Magazine has launched, and we couldn't be happier. Thanks to everyone involved - Running for the design, Brett for the cartoon, all our contributors, blah blah etc etc. Great work, kids. Details for the launch party will be forthcoming. Look for issue 2 around mid-January, and if you haven't seen issue 1 yet, what the hell are you

2003-12-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

IT HAS BEGUN. ______

2003-11-28T11:12:00.000-05:00

hello? what the hell is going on with blogger.

2003-11-28T10:48:00.000-05:00

Apologies: To Meg - I'm sorry about the scratch from that lumber you got when I tackled you. I don't really remember what I was thinking. To Ben - I'm sorry I stole your whipped cream for that whippit. To Donovan - I'm sorry I blew whipped cream in your face after huffing the canister. I'm sorry about the wad of green bean casserole I flung at you. I'm sorry I vomited in your bathroom. I'm

2003-11-28T01:06:00.000-05:00

when did my knuckles tget skinned? I think i can smell vomit on muself now... I mean really... am I going to work tomorrow? I don't enev know where my phone is to tell the m I'm knot going to work tomorow. gonna go hang off my roof now.

2003-11-20T18:33:00.000-05:00

Could Nicole Kidman look any weirder? Could I care any less about my blog? My "band" is now performing a double function as Pancakes' backing band. It's gonna be Johnny Pancakes and the Young Republicans (ironic for all of us except Griffin, who is actually a registered Republican). We were actually about to play a show at Pianos on Tuesday, but Griffin is a big muffinhead and is flying back

2003-11-04T00:20:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of procrastination, instead of finishing my last article for the future greatest magazine ever, I offer you a small taste of my Halloween. I call this photo "Drinks at Tenement Are Expensive and They Don't Take Spacebucks"

2003-11-02T23:07:00.000-05:00

This post is dedicated to Johnny Pancakes, a.k.a. Brian M. Trainor. Here's Pancakes at roughly Mile 12 of the New York City Marathon. I gave him a high-five seconds after this picture was taken, I was afraid afterwards that the sting on his palm might throw his concentration, but not to worry - the man is a champion.

2003-11-01T22:55:00.000-05:00

On the Purchasing of Vegetables I figured out why I don’t buy vegetables. They don’t provide much energy in the form of calories, and they are hard to cook, so for my brain to figure out a way to cook it and then actually follow through with it, it’s actually a net loss of energy in the long run. Also, how are you supposed to know how much vegetables are worth? Is a head of lettuce worth $1.79,

2003-10-29T19:10:00.000-05:00

UH OH launching monday erm, well sometime early next week. magazines are difficult, yo. who knew? I have really been craving meat lately, and for once I'm not talking about Griffin's succulent man-steak. No, I want cow- dead, slaughtered cow, cut apart and put over a fire for just a short time so that there will still be blood to run all over my face as I stuff it in my mouth with both hands.

2003-10-27T08:56:00.000-05:00

Dear God, They say that good things come to those who wait, and I've been praying for a long time now. So when is Cuba Gooding Jr. going to have that fatal aneurysm? your skeptical creation, Bryan